A Letter to God

dear god
I gave up on you
cause you gave up about me
you didn't support me when i needed you the most
you were always far away from me
tell me now, why do you making me suffer?
I'm so in rage
so upset
I don't have anyone to talk to
I talked to you before But you were not listening
I looked up toward you with tearful eyes
alas!
God I'm so sorry about what to say
I have to live without faith because of you
my life is empty
meaningless
pointless
aimless
am I chasing a dream may never become true?
not even for once?
God why are you doing this?
By your sake I pray
I don't wanna run away
leaving heaven to burn into hell
is that the life you draw its line for my sake?
I don't want it
I don't need it
I just need to be free
to live a happy life with whom I wanted always to live with
not with them
not with him
with that creature you made
that took my breath away
and left my soul empty and hollow
is that it dear God?
what else do you want me to do?
I'm so angry about you
I always wanted you to take me to set next to you
to return to you
to die with pleasure for meeting you
what am I becoming now?
faithless?
is that what you want me to become?
wish I could regain contact with your highness
but that seems so far away from now
I wish I won't loose faith in you
I wish that I would one day be your slave
and that you have mercy upon my soul
dear God